Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Untitled Post

So, I bought these slip-on dress shoes over the weekend at PayLess Shoes. I needed something a little more dressier than my Sketchers and the price was right. The 4 year old like them, so, even though I haven't had a pair of slip-on shoes for like over 15 years, I bought them.

All day long I had this strange sensation that my shoes were untied. When I walked, I thought my feet were going to come right out of the darn things. Four year olds! What do they know!? Not much more than 32 year olds it appears...

I was driving home from buying the Mrs. some happy-thirtieth-birthday ice cream from Safeway and I was completely blown away by the fact that when I look at the sun, or the moon for that matter, I'm actually looking at it sort of sideways rather than straight up and down. I nearly drove off the road when I realized that this revelation meant that I was actually sideways as I drove down the road. Has this sort of epiphany ever happened upon any of you? My advice? Don't think too hard, man or you will fall right sideways to the ground...

Like I was saying, I made a trip to Safeway to buy the woman some ice cream for her birthday. There's this weird thing that I thought only happened at Wal-Mart, but it evidently has spread to quality establishments like Safeway. People in my fair city don't seem to feel the need to return their carts to the cart return thing. They just leave their stupid carts next to their car and pull out. It drives me stinkin' mad!!! (If you don't get to read this post, it's because I'm so mad right now, I could punch the computer just thinkin' about these "people" leaving their carts out in the parking lot!!!)

So, this woman and her daughter are gettin' into their car. She actually pushes the cart to the front of the car and leaves the silly thing there. I could tell she was trying not to look at me. As you could imagine, the stink-eye was in full effect commin' from my direction at about the place where my head stood starin' at this "person" who just couldn't find the energy to walk the dumb cart the extra 25 ft to the cart thing.

I wanted so badly to walk up to the car, pound on the window, and tell this "person" what I thought of her and her cart-putting-away skills. I couldn't bring myself to doin' it though, what with what I know the police can do to a dope like me when they start floatin' them themes out during interviews and whatnot. I'd be before a jury pleadin' my case before you know it. I'll tell you what I did do, though. I stood there staring at this woman as she backed out of her stall and pretended not to see me and then I turned to walk into the store and shook my head in disbelief. I know she saw me. Maybe next time she'll think twice about being so irresponsible. If more of you would stand up and against stupidity like me, maybe this world might actually get turned around.